A fisherman at sunset in Minersville, Utah.
Even If It Takes Time
Well, I’m sorry to say that I’ve lost quite a bit of momentum in the van recently. The weather here has turned cold and rain has increased, which seems to have drained some of my motivation. But I think the bigger issue is that I’ve mostly completed the projects that come naturally to me, and am instead left with three separate projects that are daunting and, for the most part, unlike anything I’ve done before.
The scariest of these projects is completing a 12v electrical system that is powered by solar panels on the roof, as well as a DC-DC charger (which allows my alternator to charge the system while I drive).
The second scariest project is developing a safe propane system that won’t kill me with dangerous off-gases or fiery explosions (sort of important to get this right).
The least scary project is installing a water system and electric water pump that will transport fresh drinking water to my sink and collect dirty (gray) water that goes down the drain.
Admittedly, the water system isn’t stressing me out at all in comparison to the other two, as it’s pretty intuitive, it’s really the electrical and propane systems that are causing me the most anxiety, as both can have deadly—or at the very least costly—implications if done wrong.
The 12v electrical system is tricky because every fridge, fan, light, solenoid, water pump, charging receptacle, etc. requires a different thickness of wire depending on the amount of power that particular appliance draws and how far from the battery that appliance is located. From there, each wire I run requires an appropriately sized fuse or circuit breaker in place to protect the wire and appliance. However, if the fuse or circuit breaker is sized too small the circuit will routinely trip and the appliance won’t work. And if the fuse or breaker is too big that could cause an even bigger issue (ie: fire). The stakes feel particularly high.
The propane, on the other hand, provides its own challenges because, even though the system is much more simple than the electric, I’m learning that a propane hose, which I had planned to use, might not be the best option as they can degrade and leak over time (I’d like to avoid propane leaks in my living area, thank you very much). To prevent this, a copper system is recommended as the gold standard, however this would require all sorts of different fittings, techniques and tools, not to mention extra cost. On top of that, the propane tank can’t just be sitting out on its own, it needs to live inside a dedicated “propane locker,” which is an air tight box completely sealed off from my living area. In case of leaks, a large vent hole will need to be drilled through the bottom of the propane locker, all the way through the floor of the van (ouch), which would allow the heavier-than-air propane to escape through the vent and out the bottom of my van instead of filling the van with murderous gas.
Look, I know that none of these projects are outside of my capabilities and that I’ll eventually figure it all out, but I’m definitely feeling overwhelmed at the moment. Like most of the challenges I’ve overcome during this van build, I imagine that once I actually get started with them I’ll begin feeling a whole lot better. But right now I’m feeling stressed. To cope with this stress, I’ve had to take my foot off the gas, so to speak. I initially had a target finish date in mind for this van project, but as that date kept creeping closer, and the overwhelming tasks continued mounting, I had to remove that finish date from the equation in order to maintain some sense of balance and enjoyment with this process.
I hope that my next van update is more cheerful, but I want to be super transparent throughout this process—it's not all fun and games. Yes, I’ve had many highs and have proudly overcome many difficulties, but the lows are not behind me—it continues to be a rollercoaster. But, as always, I’m going to prepare my mind for the challenge and figure out, yet again, how to overcome this. Even if it takes time.
“Resilience is very different than being numb. Resilience means you experience, you feel, you fail, you hurt. You fall. But, you keep going.” —Yasmin Mogahed
